Postpartum was a LOT harder than I expected. Oh, little naive, 27-year-old Carley... she had no clue.
After Jay, I was so frustrated, mostly with myself. Also, a little frustrated that NO ONE talked about this part. The emotional weight of everything, the exhaustion, the constant buzzing I felt in my body. And the quiet, lonely pressure to figure it out.
12+ years ago, there was this underlying belief. Like, thousands of women give birth every day, so why did it feel so hard for me? Why didn't I know what to do?
I felt like I had to push through, and for a while, that's exactly what I did. But what I didn't realize at the time was that my body wasn't asking me to push; it was begging for support.
Looking back, I didn't need a perfect routine or a structured plan. I didn't need to have it all together. What I needed were small things I could return to when everything felt overwhelming.
- Journaling was one of the first things that helped. Getting my thoughts out of my head and onto paper created just enough space to breathe a little easier.
- Being outside helped more than I expected. Sunlight, fresh air, and sitting on the patio with my family grounded me in a way nothing else really could.
- Familiarity was KEY during my postpartum... like, watching the same shows over and over, reading familiar books, etc.
- Reaching out to other moms and sharing my struggles. Hearing their struggles and knowing neither one of us is alone.
- Cleaning out a small space or organizing. It helped me to feel a little more in control when everything else felt chaotic.
- Sleep. Yes, I know... don't roll your eyes. I'm not talking about perfect sleep. You won't get many days of that for a while. Moments of rest are more like it. Take naps during the day, being restful and closing your eyes for a few moments. That's more like it.
- Being gentle with myself. Using essential oils, herbal tinctures, white noise, yoga, meditation/ breathing, and exercise.
Looking back, my body was asking for things I didn't fully understand at the time - education, support, nourishment, rest, and love. It was not asking for perfection, pressure, or "pushing" through.
Postpartum isn't always intuitive, and it is definitely not meant to be navigated alone.
If you are in this space right now, feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or unsure, I want you to know this is just a phase. You don't have to know everything, and you can get through this. You don't need a perfect routine or more discipline. You need small, supportive things you can return to, again and again. Small rituals, steady support, and a little more softness in how you move through your days.
With love, Carley