Creating a birth plan is one of the most powerful things you can do as you prepare to welcome your baby into the world. However, contrary to popular belief, a birth plan is not about scripting every moment. It’s about gaining clarity, communicating your values, and giving yourself the confidence to navigate birth with both intention and flexibility.
You may also hear it called a birth preferences list, and that’s often a more accurate and approachable term. While "plan" implies something fixed, preferences invite collaboration and adaptability. In my midwifery practice, I often encourage families to think of this document as a tool for communication, not control. Birth is full of the unexpected, and that’s okay. Your preferences can help your care team understand what matters most to you, no matter how your birth unfolds.
1. Understand the Purpose of a Birth Plan (or Birth Preferences List)
A birth plan, or preferences list, is a way to communicate your hopes and values to your care team. It's a written summary of your ideal birth environment, how you’d like to be supported, and any requests you may have for labor, delivery, and postpartum care.
Think of it as a conversation starter. A good birth plan is collaborative, respectful, and open to the flow of labor, because what matters is feeling informed and supported in every decision.
2. Reflect on What’s Most Important to You
Before you begin writing, take some time to reflect. Ask yourself:
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What kind of environment makes me feel safe and calm?
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How do I want to be supported emotionally and physically during labor?
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What are my thoughts on interventions like epidurals, IVs, or continuous monitoring?
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What are my preferences for immediate postpartum care for me and my baby?
This is your opportunity to get clear on your non-negotiables and the areas where you’re open to guidance and flexibility.
3. Choose Your Tools for Comfort and Support
The families I work with are drawn to natural comfort techniques, especially in early or unmedicated labor. Here are a few supportive tools that can be included in your preferences:
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Essential oils like lavender, peppermint, or citrus can be used in a diffuser or inhaled on a cotton ball to help ease nausea, ground emotions, or lift energy.
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Labor & Birth Gemstones can offer a sense of grounding and intention during each wave of labor. Some birthing people find strength in choosing stones that symbolize protection, peace, or strength.
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Massage tools, affirmation cards, warm rice packs, birthing combs, TENS units, or a birth ball can support comfort and movement during labor.
Let your care team know what you plan to bring or use so they can support you in your chosen coping tools.
4. Write Clearly and Keep It Simple
Your preferences don’t need to be pages long. A one-page format, broken into sections with bullet points, is usually most effective. Consider including:
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Environment (lights, music, privacy)
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Pain Management (preferred coping tools or medication preferences)
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Interventions (thoughts on inductions, breaking water, etc.)
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Monitoring (intermittent or continuous)
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Delivery (pushing positions, who will catch baby, delayed cord clamping)
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Immediate Postpartum (skin-to-skin, breastfeeding, newborn care)
Use open language. For example:
“I would prefer intermittent monitoring if possible.”
“I would like to delay newborn procedures for the first hour, as long as baby and I are stable.”
5. Prepare to Flex With the Flow
One of the most empowering things you can do is approach labor with a mindset of flexibility. Birth is dynamic, and sometimes things shift. Being prepared doesn't mean being rigid; it means you’ve thought about your values and are ready to make informed choices, even when the unexpected arises.
Having preferences in place can help reduce stress and decision fatigue during labor. And even when plans change, you still have a voice. That’s what empowerment looks like.
6. Share and Review It With Your Provider
Bring your preferences to a prenatal appointment and review them with your provider or birth team. Their feedback can help you understand what’s realistic for your setting and where you might want to clarify or adapt.
If you’re birthing in a hospital, consider printing extra copies for your chart and the nursing staff. If you’re at home or in a birth center, your midwives and support people can use your preferences to guide their care more personally.
Your Birth, Your Voice, Your Way
Whether you call it a plan, a preferences list, or simply “my wishes for birth,” this document is about honoring your voice and preparing for one of the most transformative experiences of your life.
Whether you labor in a home, hospital, or birth center, you have every right to create a birth experience that reflects your strength, your values, and your unique story.
Looking for natural tools for labor and birth?
Explore my Labor & Birth Gemstone Bracelet, essential oils, and postpartum care items designed to support you at every stage at www.carehaandco.com.